When we start researching dating sites for the first time, it’s so surprising to see that there’s hardly much advice on what to do when your dating experience with dating someone turns out to be horrid.
There are lots of listicles listing 100 free dating sites, multiple reviews about which is the best dating site and lots of information on the lines of plenty of fish dating site. However, not many blogs or websites talk of what should one do when one’s disappointed by bad dating experiences.
I learned through repeated experiments what to do when a date goes bad. First, decided how bad is bad. Was he ungentlemanly? Too bad! However, as long as he covered at least his share of the expenses, I can live without meeting him again.
Did he have bad breath or bad body odor? Aye, that happens? I will ensure an escape plan as a learning exercise, the next time; I end up with a person like this. I will consider it one of those rare nightmares that are a reality of all our lives. Even the best dating site in the world cannot promise to have all gentlemen and ladies on their platform.
Was he in a lot of hurry, or was he nervous? Well, it happens, people do get nervous when meeting someone offline, Sure, he didn’t meet my standards, but I don’t have to judge him. Maybe, the next guy I date, I can fix the date at a coffee shop rather than a bar, or vice versa.
Did he try to violate my consent even in the slightest manner? No, I’m not talking of consent on issues like – Should we watch movie A or B, as long as he was not obnoxiously rude / ill-mannered about it. However, how about the consent to intrude upon my personal space, both physical and / or emotional? What about the consent to hug or kiss me? What about my consent to have sex or not? Well that matters. A lot! No matter which of the 100 free dating sites I found this guy from.
What if someone is too intrusive or overly interested in my mental space or tries to breach the common social standards of information and privacy? Well, I tell them politely and firmly that they are to not push me, or I will have to consider an exit plan.
But what if someone tries to violate my physical boundary of bodily comfort? I leave. First, if I do not know someone too well, I do not meet them for drinks, but a coffee or a meal. Second I meet strangers or online friends in a public place approachable but reasonably distant from my home or work place. Third I always keep an exit as well as a rescue plan handy.
Most importantly, I constantly remind myself, that to look for a needle, we have to sift through the haystack. That online dating isn’t always about finding the perfect date, but about learning through a myriad experiences, more about the kind of person who’s right for me. I remember that no matter how bad a date is, unless it’s anything I should report to the police, I will get over it. Most importantly, there are always plenty of fish dating sites have.